Fall is in the air, and for me the fresh breeze and falling leaves have always brought with them a sense of the past, of good memories, of old times and places.
The smells of fall – ripe apples on the trees, bonfires, dried leaves – bring back wonderful memories for me. And when they come to mind, sometimes I find myself wishing I could go back.
I will admit that at times I have sought a sort of refuge in the past. It seems like a safe and comfortable place, unlike the present, which always carries a degree of uncertainty and discomfort. I think in a way this is a temptation for all of us, collectively and individually. We tend to look back and believe that things used to be better than they are now.
But spending too much time thinking about and remembering the past is the one thing that is guaranteed to rob us of this wonderful adventure called The Present.
If you are like me and you have had thoughts such as, “Things were easy back then,” or “I was a better person back then,” or “I wish all that hadn’t changed,” I want to encourage you to see the past through a more realistic lens. Here are three quick truths to remember when you want to return to the past:
- When you were in the past, it was difficult and scary. Our minds often trick us when they remind us of the past, presenting it in a hazy warm glow softened by time and experience. We are less likely to feel fear and anxiety about the past, because it is over and we know survived it. But back then, survival seemed by no means certain! There were days racked with anxiety, difficulty, fear of the future and all the feelings we struggle with sometimes now.
- There is no comparison between the past and present. At times it is easy to slip into comparing how our lives used to be with how they are now. And the truth is, the two cannot be accurately compared. The challenges are completely different. You have grown and changed and you are a different person. The very nature of living in time precludes true comparison between the past and present. Let the past be what it was, and do not spend time analyzing the differences between the past and present.
- Lastly, going back into the past would actually be terrible. Think of a wonderful time in the past that you would like to return to. Then, imagine you really did go back. How many people have you met since that time that you are willing to give up meeting? How many experiences have you had since then that you are willing to forfeit? How much difficult but rewarding growth have you experienced since then that you are willing to relinquish? Do not fall into the trap of thinking that going back into the past would be nice. It would be terrible and you would lose out on the amazing place you’re in now and the immense growth you’ve experienced in getting here.
You are here now. It isn’t by mistake. And the next time you are tempted to believe that the past was somehow better than now, remind yourself that isn’t necessarily true. Good memories are a gift to be enjoyed, but the past has had its day. If you are in the present, you are exactly where you need to be.