Before I had anxiety, I never thought about my heart.
But for a few years after my first panic attack, I had whole stretches where I felt like I was having a heart attack every other day.
I would call my Dad from work.
Chest pains, I would describe. My heart is pounding. I’m dizzy and nauseated. I feel like I can’t breathe.
My Dad would reaffirm what multiple doctors and dozens of sources on anxiety already had. There was nothing wrong with my heart.
Talking to my Dad almost always calmed me down.
But deep inside, I was still afraid. I felt like the stress and the anxiety might kill me, like my heart wasn’t strong enough. Deep inside, I felt fragile.
It took me a long time to learn that fragility, like rigidity, is a mindset, an attitude.
And its opposite – antifragility – is also a mindset.
I was first introduced to the concept of antifragile in one of my all-time favorite books, Level Up Your Life by Steve Kamb. In the book, Kamb discusses three possibilities in life: being fragile, being sturdy, and being antifragile.
Something that is fragile is easily broken. It has to be wrapped up and protected and treated gingerly. At the first whiff of chaos, a fragile thing will break.
Something that is sturdy doesn’t need to be protected as much. It can handle more chaos.
But something that is antifragile thrives on chaos. Much like our bodies are capable of healing and becoming stronger from pain and difficulty, the antifragile person embraces the growth and strength that comes from pain and difficulty. The antifragile person seeks new challenges and problems to make his or herself stronger.
Reading about this concept was a life-changer for me. I shifted to an attitude of embracing things I once tried to avoid. I realized that…
- If I was feeling fear, I was growing braver
- If I was feeling weak, I was actually getting stronger
- If I was in pain, I was becoming tougher
- If I was cold, I was increasing my capacity for cold
- If I was failing, I was learning
Rocky Balboa in the final Rocky movie is the hero of the antifragile mindset.
“It ain’t about how hard you hit,” he says. “It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
“Antifragile – don’t handle with care!” Steve Kamb writes. “Like the mythical Hydra: cut off one head, and two heads appear in its place. In fact, antifragile objects can become weaker if you don’t mishandle them.”
Our bodies and minds, Kamb explains, are designed to be antifragile. Our muscles rebuild themselves stronger when exerted; our bodies build up resistances from sickness; and it’s by getting burned that we learn that the stove is hot.
This was an epiphany for me.
That which we seek to avoid is what we need. We would be nothing without adversity.
In the last couple years, I’ve run multiple 5Ks, danced till 7 o’clock in the morning and done things that scare me so much that my heart feels like it will pound itself to death.
But I’ve gotten stronger. And my heart is stronger.
Anyone who has ever had a degree of anxiety knows how fragile it can make you feel. But the opposite is actually true.
And when you embrace an antifragile mindset, you turn that fear on its top, and you open up a whole new world of adventure and experiences.